*note – this is most definitely a ‘not-poem’, but I think Melanie would appreciate and laugh about a poem that doesn’t remotely resemble poetry….
Mr. Rogers always told kids to look for the helpers.
Melanie, you were the ultimate helper.
You always took time to thoughtfully answer; respectfully connect and to be a woman who raised up other women early in the field.
You were an artist, a mother, a wife, a friend, a scholar, a mentor and quite simply, pure light.
In our first conversation, I walked away knowing about your love for your husband (peanut butter & jelly), about your desire to create, and your incredible work ethic to improve the lives of others – not about your research agenda or details of your CV.
It was always a privilege to sit next to you at our SWtech conference dinners because I always walked away richer in knowledge and laughter than I had been before I sat down.
Over the past 9 years. I looked forward to grappling with all of the thoughtful questions you posed in our group chat and navigating the shared horror we’ve experienced in the past 18 months. I find myself checking my phone expecting to see your next message – whether it was an article to read, a rabbit hole to dive down, or a picture of your newest badass tattoo.
You belong here with us, Melanie. In the simplest terms, I’m so damn sad and mad that we will not grow old in this world together and be wizened old crones in whatever the future holds.
I will quite simply, always think of you. Every time I publish something – as part of a trio that gave me my first scholarly writing break – you’ll be a part of all that comes next. When I get my new tattoo in Japan in a few weeks – thinking of all the beautiful ink you wore with pride; when I learn a new craft – like all of the jewelry you created and shared, and when the next generation of social workers begins to spread their wings – I was always pause, provide that resource, and share my knowledge.
Because I learned from one of the best.
You were a gift to all of us and how we all wish you could have stayed.
There will be no filling the Melanie-shaped hole in our universe. But your spirit, energy and kindness will always be a piece of my heart. To quote the Golden Girls…thank you for being a friend.
~Beth Counselman-Carpenter
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